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“An addiction is something that controls people – something they feel they cannot do without or something they do to alleviate pain or pressure.” Joyce Meyer – Approval Addiction (2005). People can be addicted to either a substance (alcohol, drugs, food) or behaviour (gambling, watching pornography, shopping or work). When people are insecure (which is most people), they look to others to make them feel better about themselves or approve of them. This behaviour can become an addiction – an approval addiction.
Often I meet with clients who find it difficult to feel good about themselves unless they receive positive affirmation from others – their parents, husband/wife, friends or colleagues. The reality is that not everyone will approve of us at all times. They may even reject us. The thought of being rejected is so frightening that some people will do almost anything to avoid it even if it means going against their own morals. They become ‘people pleasers’ caught in a vicious cycle and often cannot stop without appropriate intervention.
Overcoming any addiction is difficult to do on your own. Admitting your problem is the first step to freedom. Speaking to someone you can trust such as a pastor, counsellor, or someone struggling with a similar problem are all positive steps that you can take. Twelve-step support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous are also beneficial as you hear how others have overcome their addictions.
If you’re struggling with an addiction and would like to speak to someone confidentially, please contact Counsel@CrossCulture
phone: 9639 3875; email: counsel@crossculture.net.au
Fees range from $10-$80 (sliding scale)
Article written by Marina Dyson, General Counsellor
