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Loneliness

"Loneliness seems to be such a painful, frightening experience that people will do practically everything to avoid it".  Fromm-Reichmann

Loneliness is a common and very subjective human experience.  Most people will be faced with it at some point in their lives. Experiencing loneliness over a long period of time can be hard to bear and tolerate, particularly when one's resources, skills and confidence are minimal.  The chronicity of this experience can be further isolating and make one feel helpless.

Loneliness can be experienced in different ways.  On the one hand it is lacking social connections with others and on the other hand one can feel lonely in an intimate relationship, a close friendship or even being part of a large family

People avoid feeling lonely and create ways to comfort themselves.
Some examples of these are keeping busy, using substances, avoiding social events or people or simply withdrawing.

What gets in the way of feeling connected and experiencing connection with others?

Needs are not met by past and current relationships
Sometimes a known or even unknown yearning for something/someone
Low self-esteem and self consciousness
Afraid of being seen for who you genuinely are
Depression/Anxiety
Trauma/Past abuse
Worried about what others think of you
Difficulties communicating
Being misunderstood by others
Overwhelmed by emotions internally and inter-relationally.

Understanding why you're lonely, creates opportunities to know yourself and your relationships in deeper and more meaningful ways. To get a better understanding, book an appointment today at Counsel@CrossCulture 9639 3875

"Know Thyself"   Socrates 

article written by Tess Tokatlidis, Somatic Psychotherapist

Handling your children's anger

Anger in children is a normal emotional reaction to frustration, disappointment, or being treated unjustly. Anger can be a useful emotion as it motivates them to solve issues, make positive changes and achieve their goals. For younger children, anger is often expressed in form of tantrums or other aggressive behaviours. However, as they get older and their cognitive & language skills develop, most children learn to express and manage their anger in a more effective way.


Unfortunately, when a child frequently lose control of their anger, unpleasant consequences may occur for the child (e.g., being rejected by friends), and for his or her loved ones. The child’s healthy functioning may therefore be jeopardised by his/her inability to control negative emotions.

As parents, it is important to help your children to understand their anger and learn helpful strategies to manage and express their anger. Seeking professional help in anger management can also provide you with additional support. In counselling, your children can recognise what anger looks like, what triggers their anger, learn how thoughts influence behaviour, learn every-day and practical strategies to deal with behaviour and thoughts, learn how to communicate their feelings without acting aggressively, and learn relaxation strategies.

It’s never too early to teach your child effective anger management. Book a counselling appointment today. Call Counsel@CrossCulture 9639 3875

Article written by Angela Utomo MAPS, Psychologist

Depression

Image  courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

“Depression is more than just a low mood - it's a serious illness. While we all feel sad, moody or low from time to time, some people experience these feelings intensely, for long periods of time and often without reason. People with depression find it hard to function every day and may be reluctant to participate in activities they once enjoyed. Depression causes both physical and psychological symptoms. Depression is one of the most common of all mental health problems. One in five people experience depression at some stage of their lives."(http://www.beyondblue.org.au. )

Life can be tough and we all face different challenges from time to time which can cause us to feel depressed. The loss of a spouse, child or loved one, the loss of a job or loss of good health can leave us feeling depressed and often without hope. Even Christians can suffer from depression. People suffering from depression often have feelings of anxiety as well. Some of the symptoms of depression can include feeling sad/down or miserable most of the time; loss/gain of weight associated with decrease/increase in appetite; sleep disturbance (sleeping too little or too much); withdrawing from family & friends; loss of concentration; over reliance on alcohol & sedatives; irritability; lack of confidence & self esteem; feelings of guilt or suicidal thoughts. If you experience any of these symptoms for a prolonged period, it’s important that you speak to your doctor or health professional.

Depression is treatable and the road to recovery may involve being prescribed anti-depressant medication and speaking to a counsellor or psychologist. Don’t suffer alone. Help is available.
If you would like to discuss further please contact

Article written by Marina Dyson, Counsellor

If you’ve been feeling low and would like to make an appointment, please call: Counsel@CrossCulture 9639 3875

Habits Gone Wrong

"I have developed a certain type of habit/almost ritual-like behaviour over the years. Each time before I go out of the house, I have to check 5 times that I definitely have 4 things on me; wallet, phone, keys, and tissue. I have to check 3 times that I have turned off the lights, turned off the gas, and closed all windows. I will never use public toilets due to the fear of germs. If I ever touched something that I thought may potentially be infected with germs, I'll have to wash my hands at least 3 times to feel better. At work, I am very particular with details and have to check my work at least 5 times before I'm satisfied with it. These habits not only affected my daily functioning, it has also affected my ability to work effectively. My friends and family have also started noticing my habits, with a few expressing concerns, while others just felt somewhat irritated. Is there something wrong with me?"

The behaviours described are consistent with a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD is characterised by the preoccupation with intrusive thoughts such as "If I use a public bathroom, I may be infected with germs." These unwelcomed, intrusive and often exaggerated thoughts can understandably cause great distress, anxiety, and even fear. In order to calm yourself, you may experience what is referred to as a 'compulsion', an urge to engage in repetitive habits. These can include, as mentioned, checking things over and over, repetitive washing of your hands and checking your work 5 times. Unfortunately, these behaviours do assist with alleviating the associated negative feelings, which in turn reinforces their use again in the future when these thoughts occur. It quickly becomes a vicious cycle and these habits are strengthened with every use. This can then lead to the development of other habits. These stubborn habits often interfere with your social interactions, work/study abilities and well-being, and if so, it becomes a real problem.

The good news is that you can do something about it. It requires strong motivation and desire to untrain the stubborn habits, and it may be quite an uncomfortable experience at times. It is important, therefore, to seek professional support and guidance to help resisting the habits more effectively. You may wish to check with your doctor regarding a possible diagnosis of OCD and a possible treatment plan. Fortunately, there are plenty of people who have successfully worked through their symptoms and learned adaptive ways of managing their anxiety. In doing so, they have improved their quality of life - you can too.

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Article written by Ping Yin Ngu MAPS, Registered Psychologist

Appointments can be made online at:

http://appointment.counselcc.net.au.

Anxiety Disorder

Anxiety (also called angst or worry) is a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive, and behavioural components. It is the displeasing feeling of fear and concern in either the presence or absence of psychological stress. Anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness, and dread. It is also associated with feelings of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, and muscle tension. Anxiety is considered to be a normal reaction to a stressful situation where a person may feel under pressure such as when attending a job interview, meeting a work deadline or sitting for an exam or test.

However, for some people these feelings are ongoing, happen for no apparent reason or continue after the stressful event has passed. While everyone feels anxious from time to time, some people experience these feelings so often and/or so strongly that it can affect their everyday lives. When anxiety becomes overwhelming, it may fall under the classification of an anxiety disorder (National Institute of Mental Health, 2008) .

If you’re experiencing ongoing anxiety symptoms it’s important that you speak to your doctor who may refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist for an assessment. A psychiatrist is able to prescribe medication to help alleviate the symptoms of anxiety. A psychologist or counsellor can assist with learning techniques to help you better manage your anxiety. You don’t need to suffer in silence. Help is only a phone call or click away. For further information about anxiety disorders go to the Beyond Blue website http://www.beyondblue.org.au.

Article written by Marina Dyson, Counsellor

If you’ve been feeling anxious and would like to make an appointment to discuss further please contact Counsel@CrossCulture

 phone: 9639 3875; email: counsel@crossculture.net.au

Image  courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Which self are you today?

Many of us put on many different hats (i.e. roles), for example, “the responsible employee”, “the caring friend”, “the creative art lover”, “the strong corporate leader”, “the attractive middle-aged woman”. There is probably an infinite combination of roles people play. In this postmodern age, we can reinvent ourselves as often as we want. And it’s not always a bad thing! Sometimes, it is just fun!! In fact, you might have thought of some of these different labels of yourself. The different circumstances or groups we are surrounded by do, to a certain extent, dictate how we need to or choose to behave. Besides, who wants to be a social outcast? Although that can be another label someone could proudly wear!

Have you thought about the different selves you portray/strive to become? Do you become confused at times about who you really are? Do you identify really strongly with all the selves you put on? Do any of those labels feel inauthentic and you feel like a fake sometimes? Are some of the labels instrumental or just a culture you adopt in order to feel accepted?

Why not take some time to explore and learn to manage your best asset—you? After all, you have to live with yourself all the time, so it might just be worth it to work on areas of your identity and to appreciate or fine-tune the unique person you are!

Article written by Lainey Weiss,  Counsellor

Practitioners at Counsel@CrossCulture

are happy to help you through this journey. Contact us today at 9639 3875 or counsel@crossculture.net.au