Strategies for Life Improvement

Researchers have been having a chicken-and-egg debate over thoughts, emotions, and behaviour for decades now, with little or no resolution. Some of them claim that it is without a doubt that by modifying our thoughts and behaviour, we alter how we feel; others claim that emotions are definitely more primal, and therefore working with emotions would lead to change in one’s thoughts/behaviour... you get my drift. 

My suggestion is, learn different strategies, so we become skilled at discerning which strategy would work best when you find yourself in a certain situation. In some situations, adjusting how you think about them would bring about a change of attitude and emotions quite instantaneously. However, when you feel overwhelmed by your emotions and need a little “recalibration”, you could take some time out to evaluate and process your emotions in a safe place before you get back into the swing of things. There are still other situations which would best require a transformation of behaviour and forming of new habits, or even a total change of environment or restructure of your life in order for you to get the best out of life. At times, we would need to adjust more than one of those variables, so that we get a more effective and sustainable result. 

The counsellors at Counsel@CrossCulture would be glad to work collaboratively with you in discerning your unique circumstances and taking your preferences into account when brainstorming with you regarding which strategies to employ for your current situation. We make it an effort to work with evidence-based strategies which have been proven to be effective, and are open to regular feedback, so you can get the most of out of your time with us and ensure that the way we are working with you is in accord with your personality, values and preferences. 

Article by Lainey Weiss, General Counsellor

_____________________________________________________

Now with six General Counsellors on our team, no referral
necessary and cost between $10 - $70 depending on your
employment situation.  There’s no better time to take ACTION toward a better you!

T. 9639 3875; http://appointment.counselcc.net.au.

Photos:  freedigitalimages.net

 

 

Introducing New Volunteer: Angela Utomo

Angela Utomo is another new member of our Counsel@CrossCulture team.  Angela is a volunteer who will pick up some general tasks at the centre like reception work, cleaning and preparing materials for upcoming events.

Angela is originally from Indonesia, the eldest of four siblings and with parents actively involved in Christian ministry.  She has lived in Melbourne for the past four years.  For most of that time she has been a part of CrossCulture Church and serving regularly with Mercy Ministries.  Last year Angela graduated from a Masters of Applied Psychology (Community) at Victoria University and this year is working as a University tutor and Casual Relief Lecturer for Psychology and Social Work students.

In addition to her volunteer work at Counsel@CrossCulture, Angela also volunteers at a Helpline for people who care for loved ones with a mental illness.  Angela is keen to learn about Christian approaches to counselling and psychological interventions which is one of the reasons why she is offering her time to Counsel@CrossCulture.

Angela’s research and work interests include supporting refugees and asylum seekers, young people’s mental health and prevention of sexual violence.  In her spare time she enjoys dark chocolate, fine dining and organising events – a great set of skills for our growing counselling ministry! 

If visiting the Counselling Centre on Wednesdays, you will likely find Angela at the front desk.

________________________________________________

Counsel@CrossCulture is open to everyone,
9.00 am - 1.00 pm weekdays, T. 9639 3875; E. counsel@crossculture.net.au

Appointments may also be made online at: http://appointment.counselcc.net.au

General Counselling: $10—$70 max an hour (sliding scale) — No Referral Required.

 

Introducing New Counsellor: Andrea Blake

Andrea Blake is a qualified counsellor, who is very excited to be joining the Counsel@CrossCulture team.
 
Andrea specialises in counselling and debriefing people who have spent time living overseas in work with Aid agencies, Corporations or Christian Organisations.  Andrea has an understanding of the issues cultural adjustment and re-adjustment can have on adults, teens and children. She loves to journey with people as they process and make sense of ‘reverse culture shock’, trauma, re-adjustment; grief associated with loss of leaving and faith concerns.

Andrea is married, and has three children and enjoys exploring Melbourne and Victoria with her family, discovering good coffee and bike riding. 

She has lived overseas in Europe, North Africa and in the Pacific Islands. Andrea struggled with her own journey of transition back to Australia and sees the importance of receiving support in this time.

Andrea has supported cross-cultural and International Aid workers for several years, both here in Australia and overseas. She runs extensive debriefs and offers ongoing support with counselling throughout the readjustment period.

Andrea has completed a BA in Psychology and Psychophysiology, and post -graduate Studies in Counselling. She is a member of the CCAA (Grad) and is PACFA registered (provisional).

Andrea is happy to work with people of all ages. She has experience counselling in primary and secondary schools. She has worked with adults, children and teens on a variety of issues, such as anxiety, depression, grief and trauma, self esteem and self harm. When working with children, Andrea utilizes play and art therapy techniques.

Andrea is available for appointments for counselling and debriefing. She can be contacted directly on 0412 455 937 or email at andrea@counselcc.net.au or via the
details below.

________________________________________________

Counsel@CrossCulture is open to everyone,
9.00 am - 1.00 pm weekdays, T. 639 3875; E. counsel@crossculture.net.au

Appointments may also be made online at: http://appointment.counselcc.net.au

 

Do You Know Yourself?

"There are three Things extremely hard, Steel, a Diamond, and to know one's self."
– Benjamin Franklin

As you go on day to day, from one year to another, what is it that you are working towards? Is what you’re doing taking you closer to where you want to be, or is it taking you further and further? Look at your superiors (boss, parents, pastor, mentor, etc.), and think of whether you would want to be like them someday, or do you get excited envisioning yourself as somebody else? Some of you may have wonderful leaders in your life whom you aspire to, but some of you do not. If you hate the job of your manager, but are working towards that position yourself, chances are, you are probably not heading in the direction you want.

Many people expend most of their energy into serving the demands of family, community and society, and never take the time to ponder on the unique person they are, and what their unique purpose in life is. Perhaps, because these questions often do not give us straightforward answers is why we shy away from them. However, do the questions actually tell us more than simple answers could? Are we working so hard to please the (sometimes unspoken) expectations of our family, community & society that we are feeling listless and sometimes wonder what the meaning of life is?

Of course, having a sense of belonging is an important motivator in our lives. We all want to be part of community, and that desire is not a bad one. But, have you pretended to like something just because everyone in the group likes that? Are you in a job or studying a degree that you would have never picked for yourself, outside the influence of friends, family or society? Are you doing something just because it seems like the “Australian” (or Asian or Hispanic, etc.) thing to do?

Sometimes, it is our responsibilities (children, house, etc.) which have got us to pursue a career path we are not the least excited about. And since we’ve been stuck in it for such a long time, is it realistic to think we could ever get out of the rut? “I’ve got bills to pay and mouths to feed, you know!”

Yet, you do owe it to yourself, and to those around you, to get to know yourself, so you can live authentically and passionately. Knowing yourself does not always mean throwing away your career, family & community, but it does mean thinking of things in a different way and perhaps, doing things in a different way. Work out what you are passionate about and gifted in, and you could approach your current job with a whole different angle. If serving others is a passion of yours, think of your work as you contributing to others’ lives or to the order of things, and fuel your passion for work with the thoughts and attitudes that align better with your philosophy of life. That would affect greatly how you treat others and improve your sense of satisfaction from what you are doing.

For those of you who do not yet have a whole lot of responsibilities, rethinking your life and making the choices towards getting where you truly want to get is something you would want to consider. You are unique, and only you can fill the role that you are supposed to fill. If you do not, others who need you are missing out on that! Do yourself and others a favour and get to know yourself today.

_________________________________________________

 

Lainey Weiss, General Counsellor (on Student Placement)
BEng (Hons), GDipTheol, GDipCouns(c)
T. 9639 3875; 0423 387 182; E. lainey@counselcc.net.au

http://appointment.counselcc.net.au.

Take Action Over Stress

By Paul Kelly, a Principal of The Channel Group, a leadership and coaching practice An excerpt of an article that appeared in THE AUSTRALIAN FINANCIAL REVIEW on 24 April 2012. Reproduced with permission. With thanks to Mr Paul Kelly. 

In more than a quarter of a century of advising management and boards, I don’t believe I have ever seen the levels of stress among employees higher than it is today. 

It’s a confluence of events that has its origin in the global financial crisis that, inexorably, has rippled to every corner of business and commerce in the Western world. 

Company leaders themselves are under pressure to manage costs (read, reduce costs) and, by whatever it takes, to maintain cost-income ratios. 

This pressure, exerted from above, pushes down relentlessly on workforces and many Individuals struggle to cope. 

One of my clients recently explained she was responsible for four functions, she had 17 direct reports and no time to manage, let alone to lead … 

The impact of stress on staff is demonstrable and manifests itself in a number of ways. One option for leaders is to ignore the stress their people are under and put up with the consequences, one of which is unintended staff turnover of perhaps as much as 40 per cent a year. Another, better, option is to sharpen their focus in actively engaging stressed team members. 

Sadly, many leaders have little idea how to engage a valued, yet stressed, employee more deeply. Some things leaders may need to consider include: Scheduling agenda-free meetings with their people. Yes, I’m serious – agenda free. Pay attention and listen. You may be surprised at what you learn. Show interest in the person, as well as in the business. Accept there are times to seek professional help in whatever form that may take. In my experience, the new leaders need to increase their focus on high-value team members, offer both emotional and practical support to help them cope and be prepared to seek independent assistance in keeping their leaders accountable for these softer yet critical issues. 

 http:\\appointment.counselcc.net.au  (03) 9639 3875

Image: freedigitalphotos.net

Do you dislike your current job but not sure what else to do?

Gone are the days when people stayed in the same job until they retired. In fact, the average person can expect to change jobs 5-7 times in their life. People can dislike their job for a variety of reasons – sometimes related directly to the job or sometimes for personal reasons. A young lady studied hard to pursue a career in the banking industry. She works for a reputable finance company and has a reasonable salary but is very dissatisfied with her job. She comes for counselling and explains that she cannot work for an organisation who is concerned more about profits than people. She decides to use her skills and her passion to help people to pursue study in a different field of work and is looking forward to a more satisfying career. 

It takes courage to step out and make a change. Especially when your financial security is at stake or when you’re unsure about which direction to take? If you need help making a decision that relates to your job or career then please contact Marina Dyson at Counsel@CrossCulture.

______________________________________________________________________

Marina Dyson, General Counsellor
Associate of CCAA, Adv Dip Christian Counselling & Family Therapy
T. 9639 3875, 0402 345 039; E. marina@counselcc.net.au

Marina Dyson works with individuals and couples experiencing grief and loss, depression, anxiety, marriage and relationship difficulties and those seeking career guidance or general support during life transitions.  Marina also speaks Italian.

General Counselling begins at $5 per hour for full-time students and up to $50 max for those who work full-time.

Appointments may also be made online at: http://appointment.counselcc.net.au.

Photo: nuchylee, freedigitalimages.net

The Role of Emotions

Maybe you think of yourself as a “rational” person. Society tells us that we should not be “emotional”, especially if you are a boy or a man. But is that even possible? And is that actually wise?

Emotions are signals our body or inner self give to us when we are in certain environments. It is how people dynamically interpret and construct their experience in the present moment when they encounter their environment. Emotions direct how people relate to their world and inform them of their needs and fears. They are the link between the inner and outer realities of a person. Emotion is also viewed as experiential because when it is expressed, it draws certain responses from others. Think of how children relate to their parents. When parents are physically present, and yet emotionally distant, the children feel distressed and disconnected to them.

Many highly functional people I meet have managed to ignore their emotions in order not to be too easily influenced by them. I agree that our emotions need to be managed somehow and that we cannot just do whatever we feel like doing. However, in blocking out or refusing to listen to the signals our body is giving us, we might be missing out on some vital messages telling us what we really need and what is actually going on.

We all know of people who do not admit or deal with their anger towards someone else. They are often hostile, touchy and impatient! Emotions are tricky things. When people ignore them, they do not really go away, and you see those emotions as clear as day in their everyday interactions. Sometimes, that person is just totally oblivious to it! Other times, people wonder why they are reacting so strongly towards certain situations. Some people admit to having “unhealthy emotions” that disrupt their lives, and wish they could get rid of them.

When we refuse to get in touch with our feelings, we are not able to distinguish the different levels and types of emotions we experience. We are not able to work through past hurtful experiences and learn not to lose ourselves to bitterness. We are not able to bond with our loved ones in a way we would love to. We are not able to experience or appreciate the pains and joys of lives. We are not able to be fully honest with ourselves and those we love.

_______________________________________________________________________

 

Lainey Weiss, General Counsellor (on Student Placement)
BEng (Hons), GDipTheol, GDipCouns(c)
T. 9639 3875; 0423 387 182; E. lainey@counselcc.net.au

http://appointment.counselcc.net.au.

Photo:  freedigitalimages.net